But when I lose my temper I find it difficult to forgive myself. I feel I've failed. I can be calm in a crisis in the face of death or things that hurt badly. I don't get hysterical which may be masochistic of me.

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I would love to direct but I feel like directing is a whole separate craft and so I tend to respect it as a separate craft that I would need to study first. So right now I'm still trying to do certain things as an actor and until I get bored of that or I feel completely fed by that then I'll move into directing.